I've dreaded the day I'd get the chance to tell Todd McFarlane how he gave me a new inspiration to keep illustrating. To tell Snoop how he's the master-lyricist of all rappers. How RATM subconsiously made me understand that the way I perceive the world is called the sociological imagination and that I had no other choice but to start studying sociology.
Dread, you ask? Well simply put: people tend to be assholes. Not everyone. But those I end up idolizing usually turn out to have a really unlikable side to them.
This is not a blog-posting about how we regular people engage in celebrity-culture and create a reality that is not there. I will not impose my sociology on the reader, this is written purely to get out my disappointment in the heroes of my youth. This is pure fanboy-outburst, with a revelation in the end.
Those who have any interest in metal music know the controversies surrounding Phil Anselmo. In the end of January 2016 he performed at Dimebash 16, and ended the gig by making a nazi-salute. Yeah, one could just shrug it off as a joke made in poor taste, and say that reacting to "Sieg Heil" at a concert is needlessly PC. Thing is though, one cannot let this be. Youtube has many videos where Anselmo's possible racism is discussed, and I've seen all of them. Most of the material is from the 1990's and I guess it just has not been a topic in recent years until now.
What can I say? I must admit, I myself do extremely bad jokes every now and then. I usually know how to pick my audience and I make sure everyone knows it was a joke. But I commit the deed: I make something very offensive. And let's be honest, I will keep doing this until the end of days. My point is, I cannot really condemn him and play innocent myself.
However Phil is a metal-icon and his actions have consequences. When he makes the salute many of his fans will more easily act like racists. Not saying his salute turns them into racists, but they might think its okay to wear the white hood if even Phil Fucking Anselmo agrees with the cause. But no. The guy even made a video begging for forgiveness. So he kind just comes off as a jackass who just can't control his liqueur and is a white trash tool.
So, I i turned to one of my earlier idols, Henry Rollins, whom I recently rediscovered. The straight-edge angel, The performer, the writer. The guy who started out as a singer for Black Flag, continued doing music as a solo-artist for the following decade, who then turned into a spoken word-artist. A man, who with no formal education to his name is an extremely deep and insightful human being. I told my american friend about how mesmerized i was by his spoken word-gig in Finland way back in 2012. For exactly three hours, this man made my laugh, think, cry, cry deeply inside, laugh like an insane man and made me think some more. For three hours. That felt like 1 hour.
I've also read many of his books. They're mostly written in diary-form from his time on the road (Black Coffee Blues, check it out. Or don't.). But then there are the short essays. They're angry. I don't know why, but I get fascinated by this man's past aggression which he dealt with through his texts. He combated it with his intellect. Such a punk-icon.
And then i saw this video of him from what I believe is 1984, during the artistic peak (up for debate, I'm sorry, I just enjoy sludge) of Black Flag. His being interviewed by this scrawny kid who clearly adores the band. And Rollins just dismisses him as a scene-kid, who contributes to the whole selling-out of punk music. And it's just so mean. Henry, a big muscular man basically bullies this kid, who makes a video for other fans like himself. This was back when you couldn't just spread anything on Instagram and Youtube so in my eyes the kid did the scene a favor. But Henry just ridicules the kid. I was thinking he might have been trying to teach the kid to open his eyes to the absurdities of life and the commercialization of whatever. But me, as a sociology-student who's read his Adorno can recognize that there was no good argument there. Henry clearly just wanted to prove his superiority and mark his alpha-status by terrorizing the kid mentally. What a dick.
And what do I think about these videos of Phil and Henry? The guys who taught me not to let anyone fuck me over. They're pathetic. Phil, I know you won't read this but it's shameful how you every now and then just get too drunk or high and act like an asswipe with your redneck opinions. Henry, I know you're in a better place now, but come on! The story of the scrawny bullied kid who got over his issues by weight-lifting and inner improvement was not supposed to turn into what he hated the most.
And then I just accepted it. Those guys are just regular people. But I don't want to know about the regular mundane imperfections of their psyche. They were supposed to be the real-life supermen, who endured a lot of shit and then rose above it. And they did, which is why I've heard of them in the first place. But no one is perfect. It's like figuring out your parents are as shitty as the people they warn you about. You believe it for some time, until you are forced face to face with the ugly truth. Everyone has a little asshole in them.
https://danhf.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/pu_holy_terror_084.jpg
PS. I just realized all the people I noted as heroes for my teen years were white men, with the exception of Snoop who I don't even know how to classify these days. Godfather of Cool, beyond ethnic labels.
I do however want to name one more as a reminder to myself. Ann Nocenti wrote Daredevil in the late 1980's- early 90's and definitely left a mark in me. Her stories not only showcased the troubling psyche of my favorite literary character but also tackled such themes as gender issues, the environment, political corruption etc and definitely had an impact on the path I have taken since those days.. All of my love to Ann and the rest, whatever you're up to nowadays. Even to Frank. Hope you stop being crazy soon!!
Recommendations:
1. Youtube. 'Henry Rollins Rips Kid During Black Flag Interview'. By iView tube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HGb7yo4SFM
http://www.nme.com/news/adele/89473
3. Cracked. Written by Gladstone. 'The 4 Worst Things That Happen When You Meet Your Heroes'. http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-4-worst-things-that-happen-when-you-meet-your-heroes/
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